flights of fancy

I am totally crushing on a guy.

First, consider the unique alignment of events that have made this possible. A few weeks ago I moved into a new apartment; the move was precipitated by months and months of hellishly living in hellish living conditions. Construction all around me, deadbeat landlords fucking around, breaking the lease, and then the compounded stress of looking for a new apartment and then moving. I'm happy to say I'm in a great new apartment, thank you very much. But it came with a cost. Though distance-wise its the shortest I've ever had to move (four blocks) it's taken the longest amount of time...moving all my shit into a truck on one evening, leaving the truck parked out on the street containing my entire life for two nights, and then moving into my new place.

Also, consider that work has finally slackened off a little bit and I have some more mind-space available, now that work and moving aren't taking up too much room, to think about things.

Also consider that it is spring, and a boy tends to get randy at this time of year.

I dunno, it's about driving with the windows down, long hot afternoons napping and frottaging with the pillow, bare calves, skateboarders, body odors...I'm in lust with the world.

And I don't just want to do you, I want to hold you in my arms and make you pancakes and do you again and then take you out shopping and buy you furs and diamonds.

Back in March, I was out of town for work, attending panels and having meetings with prospective "clients." I had been email corresponding with this one guy, we'll call him Shy, because, well, he is. Shy and I had corresponded, shared some stories about living in the same town, studying in the same department, a few years apart, etc.

I met him in the hotel lobby--he looked cute, and was dressed down unlike everyone else, in a Belle & Sebastian t-shirt. We had serious business to discuss over our drink, and I asked him to recommend a place--any place other than the hotel bar. He had no ideas, so I casually asked, "do you want to go to the leather bar?"

He broke out in a smile and said that yes we would really like that, so we had our meeting at the leather bar, which was a riot, and actually we spent most of the time just getting to know each other. Soon after I started crushing on this boy, dimply, a little shorter than me, sharp as a tack and witty as well.

But he lives in NYC and I live here.

I keep thinking about him, and I know its flights of fancy that prompted me to massage my grapevine and get some dish on him...a friend of a friend casually asked him what he thought of me, and the answer I got back raised the hope that indeed, he may be crushing on me a little bit.

So what am I doing about it?

I'm booking a flight to New York City.

Not entirely a flight of fancy. I have a good friend in D.C. so I am going there first, and my best buddy, Marcus Aurelieus, lives in New York City, so I'll see him and stay with him and that's really why I'm going. But yeah, I'm totally going to email Shy and ask him to hang out with me while I'm there.

Why not? I have a lot of available credit on my credit card. I have the vacation days. And I have friends that I can fall back on. But living in this town, doing what I do, I rarely meet someone that right of the bat gives makes me lust for his body and his mind at the same time. I have to see where this might go.